To hell with it, I say! So, I don't have a paper to write for at the moment...should that stop the adventures? No way!
So, with the wise words of lush Margaret Foster from the classic film 9 to 5 stuck in my head, empowering me, I shall proudly--and defiantly--dust off K and F (sans the faux facade) and regale you with tales of our time spent with Sandra Lee (the effervescent host of "Semi Homemade" on the Food Network) at her cocktail party held this past weekend during the South Beach Food and Wine Festival.
"Atta, girl!" Thanks, Margaret.
Sadly, we were not able to attend the Food Fest itself, due to a lack of funds, but Billiam (the critic formerly known as "F") did provide yours truly with a pair of tickets for Xmas to "Cocktail Time with Sandra Lee," one of the many side events during the Fest which were hosted by several different Food Network personalities. When my imaginary date with Tyler Florence fell through--what? a boy can dream--I begrudgingly allowed Billiam to escort me to the event. After all, he does adore a good cocktail as much as I, so I felt it only a fair and just last minute replacement for Tyler. (Damn wife and kid!)
Now, a word or two about the weather in South Florida, especially during the winter months; otherwise known as "the dry season." Twas not dry during "Cocktail Time..." In fact, I have never seen so many folks dolled up in gowns and sparkly evening wear sopping wet as if they'd just tip toed through a car wash. The event was held in the open air courtyards of what was once Versace's mansion (which, BTW are stunningly surreal. First, simply because of the iconic history attached to not only the front stairway where he was gunned down but what was hidden beyond the gates "normal folk" never got to see. Second, because the three story structure appears almost Disney-like, one cannot imagine someone actually living there).
Unfortunately, the party planners planned poorly and neglected to check a weather forecast which would predict downpours so they might perhaps bust out a few dollars for some tents (again, because this was an all outdoor event with scarce space to be had where a roof was over one's head). I proved smarter than most attendees by dropping $8.95 for an umbrella of my own in some tourist shop a few blocks away when Billiam revealed he only had one umbrella in his car. The few that did also bring their own form of covering squashed Billiam's insecurities about his soiled, bent and ugly freebie emblazoned with the name of some mortgage company we don't even use. I'd never seen so many limp umbrella branches in one spot. It was as if the rain had taken everyone by surprise and in desperation folks hunted under car seats for that long forgotten to toss away emergency parasol. Quite humourous.
For the first hour of the event--sans any sighting of Sandra--bartenders poured drinks from the open bar wet and shivering (as the temperature that night plummeted to a near South Floridian, bone-chilling 55 degrees) and tux-wearing waiters made the rounds with fancy nibbly things on silver trays moistened by the deluge. Some found cover under archways while others, like myself and Billiam, simply stood in the midst of the typhoon for fear of missing out on something, anything we paid for. Occasionally we'd share our umbrellas with a dampened damsel in distress as she waited for her unintentionally watered down cocktail to be poured or made eye contact with other party goers, all of us expressing silently the mutual feelings of this quite frustratingly comical scene of trying to enjoy oneself whilst dripping in designer duds, chewing on clammy canapes.
Finally...
A break in the clouds brought with it a voice over the intercom that was familiar to anybody who gets excited over "tablescapes" and the ability to make an extravagant supper for twelve merely from a box of Duncan Hines, some thread, card stock from the craft store and a pork loin. Sandra Lee! Everone suddenly forgot how we had just been sloshing around the muddy courtyard in our Sunday best, drinking in the rain like homeless people.
She emerged from the kitchen (how apropos) with her sister Kimmy in tow. Clad in head to toe white, a billowing crocheted jacket trailing behind in the breeze, golden locks draping delicately past her shoulders with a halo of matching toned umbrella held by an assistant, she appeared to be an angel.
Really.
That, or we were relieved as quite possibly the crowds were just this close to rioting since we'd not yet even glimpsed our warm and dry hostess while her paying minions suffered it out in a monsoon.
"I'm from Seattle and there we don't let a little rain stop us from having a great party and I know it won't stop you either," her voice reverberated over the speakers as crowds rushed her for photos and recipe advice.
All was forgiven.
She handled he crowds like a pro. I am always aghast at these sort of events with the amount of pushing and shoving of people to reach and grab and toss a few sentences at a celebrity they will, no doubt, forget seconds later. When I had an opportunity to snag a photo--politely as that's just my way, unlike some others, ahem--she obliged
while Billiam fumbled with my new smart phone (hence the strange equator-like effect on Sandra's face). Later I had my sort of payback when, still in a mob, Sandra stepped back and with a heeled shoe stepped on Billiam's toes. She even apologizes as sweet as sugar syrup.
There was a "best fashion" award given away to two lady guests (what? none for the boys?). The drinks ran out fast, by 7:30 we were hopping from one station to the next simply trying to locate our beverage of choice (no white wine left here...no signature cocktails there...no, believe it or not, cranberry juice over yonder). The food, what little we tasted when it was actually not rained upon was, well, OK. (Something tells me Sandra had little to do with the appetizers as her recipes all look scrumptious.) But all in all it was a lovely, unusually memorable evening.
Oh yeah. Our night ended with a male underwear fashion show. But that's another story.
Glad to see you're back - keep the posts coming!
Posted by: Christo | 03/08/2010 at 02:06 PM